You can already look through the entries I've posted to see what my posting schedule is going to be like. Or not be like, since it's really just sporadic postings when I feel like I have something meaningful to talk about (Guild Wars is too meaningful!).

But actually, somewhere down below if I get to it before Joshua decides he needs my attention I do actually have something meaningful to say (I won't blame you if you scroll ahead right now). First things first, let's have an update!

I've been out of work for just over one week now and I couldn't be happier. I'm sure anyone (former bosses included) reading my previous blog entries would have no trouble reading through the subterfuge to find I was a disgruntled employee (what subterfuge?). I'm done with that now and I couldn't be happier. That job was the pits, to stressful, to full of politics and just...to messy. I'm home now with the boy and I couldn't be happier.

All of the parents out there reading this right now (there MIGHT be two) are probably saying to themselves "Give it another week" and I'm sure they're right. To say I've been with the boy a week already is a complete misnomer, because last week I went to...drumroll... BATTLE MOUNTAIN! Where is Battle Mountain, you might ask? It's in Neveda. Oh, so it's near Las Vegas, right? No. Laughlin? No. Reno? No. Lovelock? Hell yes!

Right, like anyone would ask about Lovelock. I don't know if any of you have ever seen the Tenth Kingdom (You should, by the way. It's a great DVD.) But there's this scary love town where everything revolves around special things to do with your 'sweetheart' like laying down in the REAL glass Coffin of Snow White and getting kissed at this massively beautiful overlook. That combination of creepy and cool is what reminds me of Lovelock. In between the Casinos lies a tiny little town (With the best Diseal Prices we saw the whole trip - go figure). Apparently the town gets its name from a wall in the Town Plaza (Any place with a Town Plaza automatically gets no higher then a B-rating in my book) where people 'travel' to to place a heart shaped lock (that you can buy just about anywhere in town) on the wall with their sweetheart. Yeah, creepy.
The strangest part was that we drove through Lovelock at Eight O'clock on a Friday Night. And not a single person was out or alive in the whole town. It was deader then dirt, even at the casino restaurant (the best food in town - it wasn't) which consisted largely of a large room filled with mismatched card tables and folding chairs.

But that's not even Battle Mountain - and Battle Mountain is barely where we going. Battle Mountain is located in the upper right hand corner of the state for anyone who is looking for it on a map right now (Good Luck) it's about an hour from Winnemucca (Any town with 'mucca' in it's name also gets a B-rating). And that's where the nearest shopping is. I guess for people who live in Victorville and Phelan driving for an hour to get to the grocery store is nothing new, but there are about ten grocery stores within ten minutes of my house and I have no intention of leaving here ever because of that fact. It's sort of like how we planned to go to the Movies in Bishop California, only to ask at the front desk what times the movie showings were. The answer? Six and Nine.

Where I live we have a AMC 30 Screen theatre ten minutes in one direction. An Edwards 18 Screen Ten minutes down the freeway. A Regency 10 Fifteen minutes away, and a Edwards 12 fifteen minutes the other way. 20 Minutes away there's a Kirkorian Ten, another AMC 20. And that's just that I know of. After about 11 o'clock in the morning one of those theatres has a showing at least every half hour (usually closer to every 15 minutes). So this was a bit scary.

Anyway, I'm skipping the most important part of this story. We drove a 22 Foot Truck to Battle Mountain from the Pasadena, CA area through the desert of California (I know it was desert because we passed through Mojave) and Neveda in a truck THAT HAD NO AIR CONDITIONING.

People have no concept of what the word "Hot" means. At one point I commented it was like being in hell - I was stuck in a truck for 12 hours everyday following other, more slowly moving trucks through the dead heart of small town america...and my dad was driving.

But yeah, anyway. That was Thursday-Sunday of last week, and the hardest part of the whole trip was being away from my Wife and Son because I had not been away for Joshua (except for work) since he was born, and my wife since...as long as I can remember. Probably two summers ago was the last time we spent any significant time (meaning going 24 hours without seeing each other).

So that was last week. This week started off with an Interview at the Christian School I'm applying for a job at - I'm not sure where that's going to go. I'm sure I'm probably not their first choice and I'm oddly okay with that. I think the other candidate is probably more technically qualified then I am - but I come to board with a pretty complicated and unique skill set that anyone would be hard pressed to match...and my time table for the job works better for them, I think. So we'll see where that goes.

I thought at first I would be disappointed with going back to work, but I have become oddly accepting of it. It would be nice to work (finally) in a professional environment.

So the boy laughs and coos alot now. He's much more interactive. He's tow months old now and ready to crawl - yesterday I had him on his belly and he was doing everything he could to get to me on the bed...which wasn't much, but he was very enthusiastic about not doing anything, and that was very exciting for me. He does like being read to - especially with the Musical Whiney the Pooh book, which he enjoys even though it's broken and repeats pages alot because it doesn't keep track of the fact that you turned the page.

He also likes the color Orange. If you put anything Orange in front of him - from a Sunkist Can to a Disposable Camera package - he'll do anything in his power to get to it, like reaching out for it like Darth Vader does in Empire Strikes Back when he steals Han Solo's blaster. Apparently my fledging Padawan has already embraced the power of the Darkside...or Dorkside. Whichever term your prefer probably applies.

(This is the more meaningful part of the post, and is meant for Christian or Christian based readers. If that's going to offend you, you have a constitutional right to turn off the computer and go back to watching the Tri County Rodeo. Which nearly caused us to not have a hotel room and sleep in the truck.)


Something that I've been thinking about alot, and have wanted to talk about here on the Blog is being a Spiritual Leader in specific regards to a phrase the Bible uses called "Standing Upright" before the Lord. This phrase actually comes from the story of Zechariah and Elizabth, the parents of John the Baptist, but is also referenced differently in the story of Job, in which Job is said to be in perfect standing before the Lord. This isn't really meant to start a religious debate about what these phrases actually mean in the Bible, because that's not really relevant to my topic here.

What is my topic here? Being a Spiritual Leader to your household. This is the most interesting concept I've been introduced to through marriage. It's the single thing that every single person told me I needed to ensure I did. Before anyone insisted that I provide for my family, or care for my family, or make my family a priority they insisted that I be a Spiritual Leader to the household.

Naturally, my inquisitive nature demanded I explore this concept fully, so I asked everyone I knew - or who I thought might know - what exactly this phrase meant. Naturally, I got alot of differant responses. "Pray over your family everyday." One person told me. "Provide for them as the Lord would." (As if such things are possible for Mortal Men) "Lead them to a walk with the Lord." That one was in specific regards to my Children. But I believe that the term "Spiritual Leader" entails much more then any one or two of these concepts, and so I return to the Phrase "Standing Upright Before God".

Ultimate in our lives we will all have to stand Upright Before God, fathers or not. So it seems a misnomer to apply it here to our Godly Walks as Fathers. Instead I'm going to alter the phrase to apply it slightly to the topic at hand: Stand Upright Before...Our Families.

Now there is much room for confusion and error here. For example, it would be very easy to become to prideful with this approach, but I believe that Standing Upright has little to do with Pride. There is also the temptation to see ourselves as greater then we are with this approach, which is also not something that is true.

Standing Upright before the Lord undoubtedly requires applying Humility to all aspects of our lives, and so does Standing Upright before Our Families. I do not believe that Standing Upright for one minute means that we are perfect in front of our families regardless of what else happens - such thoughts are ridiculous when we know that we are only made in God's Image, not made to be God himself - and only God is perfect. This Humility is what allows us to Stand Upright. We are not perfect. We do not always make the smartest best decisions. We don't always do what we're supposed to do (Like remembering to empty the Diaper Trasch. Sometimes on Purpose).

Through Humility in service to our Family we can accept these facts, and allow them to accept these same facts in us. Standing Upright doesn't meaning leading them to always do the right thing - it means even when we don't do the Right thing we still stand before them as the Leader the Lord calls on us to be. And of course, as Christian Men, standing upright before our Family naturally involves standing upright before the Lord, praying over our Families, Leading them to walk in the World and providing for them as best we are able (I will not say as God is able, because no one can provide for our families as God can).

So just one last phrase I leave you with now, this phrase has been on my mind since I started reading and praying about this topic, and it's a quote from a song called "What if I Stumble" by DC Talk, not a band that I would normally listen to, but a Christian Band nonetheless, even if their style is not one I would normally prefer:

What if I stumble?
What if I fall?
What if lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue
When the walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble?
What if I....fall?

This song is meant to be sung about our walk with the Lord, but after listening to it many times I believe it applies here equally as well. As Men, as Sinful and Prideful Men we are prone to Stumbling. Prone to making fools of ourselves (and therefore our families) and fearful - I know I am - ever so fearful that when we get up again the love will not continue. It's an easy thing to fear, really. That old saying Pride Goeth Before the Fall comes to mind. Rather then admit we are wrong, out of a very real fear that the Love will not continue if we are anything but perfect husbands and perfect fathers drives us to beat our heads against the wall.

The underlying message in these song lyrics, I think, is that we will stumble. We will fall. But the love continues, and by admitting that we are wrong, that we have fallen, that we have stumbled, that we have made our share of mistakes that need correcting we recognize and accept that Love - love that would not be there were we to take the arrogant and prideful way out.

You can stand Upright before your Family without being perfect. You can stand Upright before the Lord without being perfect. And you can Stand Upright before the World without being perfect. I think that our call to Stand Upright means immediately that we're already not perfect - but that we need to acknowledge that as part of our desire to strive for Perfection....and that is what Standing Upright is all about. The humility to know when we are not perfect, and the courage to also admit that those times occur more often then we would like, and the Wisdom to take steps to correct those mistakes before they have done more damage then we can contain.